Today, September 23rd is the tenth Anniversary of Celebrate Bisexuality Day, also referred to as Bisexual Pride Day. The day was created to build public awareness around bisexuality, pansexuality, and those of fluid or other non traditional sexual orientations. The truth is, no community needs to be exposed to this day more than the gay community.
I must admit, in my younger days, I fell in to the stereotype of not believing in "true bisexuality." Like many youths struggling with their sexuality, I identified as bisexual. The fact that I had never kissed a girl, and still haven't not withstanding, I told myself, my friends, and my familty that I was bi. This was more related to the fact that I was not ready to fully identify as gay and give up the dream of the typical adult life.
Later in life, a close friend of mine would jokingly refer to this as the "bi now, gay later plan." While this comical reference to layaway often proved to be true amongst many younger gay guys, it helper perpetuate a stereotype that bisexuality is either just a stepping stone to homosexuality, or teenage girls trying to be trendy, or straight guys who are too horny to wait for their girlfriend to give it up.
To this day, many guys I know say they will never date a bi-guy. Bisexuals are labeled as nymphomaniacs, afraid of commitment, and unable to be happy in a same sex relationship. I have had friends say "he won't be faithful because I can't give him everything he wants."
While all stereotypes are based in some form of truth, it is time the gay community wakes up and realizes we are part of a larger LGBT community and realize that we can't complain about bigotry and oppression if we continue to oppress our own.
So to all those who have the beautiful skill to find attraction in more than one gender - I applaud you and say happy Celebrate Bisexuality Day.
In principle I agree with you, but bisexual people don't really help themselves on this one... 99% of the bisexual people I know (and I realize this is not a reflection on all of them) ARE nymphomaniacs, afraid of commitment, and either unfaithful or dangerously close to cheating at any given time.
I try really, really hard not to stereotype or judge people in this regard, but the unfortunate fact is that I've yet to meet an exception.
Posted by: Alex | 09/23/2009 at 10:39 PM
Casey! It's Carla from Rocky days. Thanks so much for posting this, I've always hated having my sexuality reduced to some mythological stereotype. I am bi, proudly monogamous, and not a slut. The biphobia I've been met with from the gay and straight communities alike is pretty astonishing. To many, I am either confused or don't exist. (Do I look like a unicorn to you?!) It doesn't help that I even know people who are bisexual but say they are gay or straight because they find it easier. It sucks, I hope people can be proud of being themselves and unafraid to voice that to the world. When I used to go to Gay Pride, I was the only one representing bisexuals so I'd cover myself with writing, haha. Thanks for giving us bi folk some legitimate props. I hate the cheating label bisexuals get, as if cheating isn't just as big a problem in the gay and straight communities. I guess people need a scapegoat but again I remind people to keep an open mind and realize that stereotypes just plain suck.
Posted by: Carla | 09/30/2009 at 10:19 PM